Samstag, 27. August 2016

baby you should go and love yourself - my personal brainstorming

"love yourself" - either you want to make a person understand in a gentle way that you don't give a single f*ck what they think (like Biebs) OR you want to give a person THE most important rule in order to live a happy life. 
Today, I'll be talking about both. And if anything is overdue at the moment, than it is definitely this convo. (For anyone who is too lazy to read the whole post, I put down a summary at the end lol)

Pressure, stress, fears, worries, low self-esteem - a lot of people suffer from these "illnesses" on a regular basis. I am talking about "illnesses" because we understimate the real consequences of these feelings. What a lot of people consider as normal, is actually the most important factor why people are getting sick, physically weak and mentally completely exhausted. 
Since I've been spending a lot of time lately informing myself of the consequences of fear, stress or low self-esteem, I do tell you that this might seem so ridiculous at first because "stress" is almost a must-have for superficial, wealthy and succesful people in the western capitalistic society. Carrying your worries (caused by stress and pressure) around like an accessory, so many neglect the fact that stress makes you sick. And I mean sick on another level.

First things first, there are two types of people. The ones who "are stressed" all the time and really enjoy telling people how hectic their life actually is. Then, there are the people who are deeply under pressure but tell their surroundings they can deal easily with it and systematically hide their "weakness" from their friends and family.

Both is certainly uncorrect. What's really important is to look deep inside you to really evaluate whether your stress is maybe shortterm or stress that accompanies your life on a regular. But my point is clear: These feelings are nothing to be ashamed of and I think a lot more should talk about their worries in order to help others who are suffering from the same problems. TALK ABOUT IT! (In the best case with people who really give you a good feeling about yourself and take you seriously but that's saved for later)

I am a very sensitive person when it comes to drama, bad phases in life and opinions of others. What I've really learned over the past weeks is that you neccessarily have to care about YOURSELF first. People who don't give you a good feeling about yourself need to be cut out. People who lift you up need to get a higher status. Friendship codes aside, sometimes it's okay to be egoistic and care for your needs first. Especially when your life is facing major changes (I am not only talking about starting uni or something, I am talking about bigger things like family or yourself going through changes) you shouldn't apologize for putting your priorities differently without consideration.

What comes first before curing stress in your life is your own relationship with yourself. People who are happy with themselves are not easily stressed. You have to love yourself first to become kind of stress-resistent. Loving yourself or at least fully accepting yourself will save you so much energy that it is one of the basic things to learn. Whether it's body-shaming, feeling dumb, talentless or like you was failing all the time - being constantly dissapointed by your own self is poisonous. It not only affects your inner peace but also the relationship to others. People who are extremely insecure tend to have problems in relationships in general. You will develop a certain kind of bitterness which makes it harder to accept other people as well. You HAVE TO get rid of these feelings. There are a million motivational videos up on Youtube for example that will really make you feel better about yourself. Try that out!



Also cut people out who base their humour on your weaknesses. It's ok not to take yourself too seriously all the time but being the one others make fun of all the time (even if it's apparently not supposed to be harmful) will bring you down. Get rid of that! Especially if you are a person that is still insecure.

Okay, oooof, so let me try to summarise the essence of this brainstorming post:


The first thing you have to work on is your relationship with yourself

- learn to accept yourself the way you are. If you are ready for it, start LOVING yourself even
- Listen to your body and take your needs seriously
- Don't be too proud to admit things that really hurt you or make you feel bad
- Don't compare yourself - You are YOU and that's good
- Don't take yourself too seriously in general - You don't have to be perfect all the time

Your friendships influence your well-being. The people who bring you down should go and love themselves ;)

- Friends who enjoy laughing at your expense are no friends to keep.
- You should at no point get the feeling that your worries are ridiculous when telling them to your friends. Friends have to take your needs seriously.
- Still, surround yourself with people who take your fear away and inspire you
- You don't have to justify for cutting people out of your life. In the end, you have to deal with your life and nobody else.

Try to pass your fears and worries on to something "higher"

- This is not supposed to be a religious advice but passing your burdens on to something out of your imagination will help to get your "faith" back.
- Faith is essential, regardless of what you believe in.  


Okay guys, keep your head up and be honest to yourself and to your people. It's okay not to be okay sometimes. Never apologize for what you feel.

If you want me to write more about this whole psycho-stuff, let me know!
Til then,
xx
Helena





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